キョロ充 [kyoroju]

October 30, 2010 at 12:28 am (doujin(同人), general, otaku word)

 Even though otaku coin a new term, some of those words might get into a common society, and get generalized so that people use. I think  リア充[riajyu] or 死亡フラグ[shibou flag] are good examples. Now I can hear these words coming from general people. But otaku always go ahead of them and coin a new word, that is キョロ充[kyorojyu]. Sounds similar to リア充, but not really. What does it mean?

 If you happen to be a student, would you see a classmate who is isolated at class? Although he is in the group, he seems to be isolated…and he doesn’t even realise. And behind his back, everybody else is insulting him…When a lunch time comes, he is coming to join the group. But actually no one wants him to come. In this way, wherever he goes he always look for a group to join, always look for someone he knows. That is キョロ充[kyoroju]. キョロ stems from キョロキョロしている[kyoro kyoro shiteiru] or shifty eye. In other words, he is always busy looking around to find someone.

 He feels nervous unless he is in the group, and doesn’t want to be alone. That is why he always looks for a group to place himself. But why does he have to look for always? How come no one comes to him? Yes, キョロ充 sarcastically points out he is a boring person. There is no fun in talking to him, that is why no one comes to him. Once again, would you see someone like him at class or have you seen before?

 Having said that, when I heard this term I laughed at myself. Because I could see who I used to be. In fact I was always isolated in the class when I was a student. Junior high, high-school, I was always like an outcast. The teachers used to say like I have no sociability. Yes that’s true. Well, I just tried to do better every time the classmates were changed. I wanted to catch up with the classmates so that I could have fun with them. But I didn’t understand what they were talking about, it could be a trendy fashion or something like that. Anyway, it didn’t interest me. But even that, I tried to catch up with the gossip or what was going on. I even pretended to enjoy myself although I didn’t. Next day, I saw someone else took my place as if he was a replacement. No, there was no my place in the first place. They just figured out that I didn’t fit.

 I gave up. And after all, the teachers said you are not sociable at all. What should I do? How can I be more sociable? There was no where to go at school. I was trying to find a place where I can relax.

My cosplay friends

 Now I am a cosplayer as you may know. Finally I could find such a place because I have my cosplay buddies. I don’t have to pretend to enjoy myself because I really enjoy myself. Surrounded by my good friends, I can say I am happy now. It took much time to find, but there is a place even for someone like me. Even though we cosplayers don’t come out of the closet, we can have fun. I don’t know if this is リア充 or not, but I do think the important thing is, that you are happy or not. So long as you are happy, everything is alright even if the place where you are is not something most people understand. You can say オタ充[otaju] to mean your otaku life is enjoyable. Yes, when I log in my blog, I can see you. When I upload my cosplay photos, I have feedback from you. It makes me very happy. My life is good, I can say. What’s wrong with オタ充? オタ充で何が悪いの?^^

 There is no point in being キョロ充. I am sure there is a place for you, and you will have it even if it takes time. Because even I could find.

17 Comments

  1. Micchi said,

    It is normal for everyone to try to find a group that they can belong to, especially during the high school years. Usually after a while, everyone ends up in a group somehow. What I’m more concerned about is business circles. I was talking with a friend from Japan who came back to visit and he was talking about how in order to fit in with the more senior coworkers, he had to force himself to study things like wine, cars and things he didn’t necessarily like. This was all so that he can be part of ‘their group’ and for furthering his own future in the company. I personally think that it’s bad if you force yourself to try to like something you do not like. For example, I don’t drink wine. I can’t imagine me going out to drink wine a few times a week and commenting on how great it is just so that I can pretend to be friends with other people.

    Just like you have your own cosplay buddies, I am very happy to have my own eroge-playing friends. I always look forward to coming home from work and chatting with them about the latest games or themes. Indeed, it is best to be yourself and not pretend to be someone you’re not.

    • bangin said,

      I was told that there are things you have to learn as you start to work; golf, alchole, and karaoke. At least you should learn two of them, but I don’t believe it.

      However, while I am working, sometime I have to go out to drink with my co-workers. Of course I can’t talk about my hobby because, it can’t be helped, cosplay is still hard to understand for general people.

      I have to accept it because that’s about it. Meanwhile, when I am off I can enjoy cosplay with my friends. I don’t complain since onece again, I have my place.

  2. Laura said,

    What a great post, bangin!

    In the USA right now, because of the recent suicides of several young homosexual teenagers, there is a campaign called “It gets better.” Do you know it? It is to let gay teens know that they will not always be outcasts and will find friends. I have thought how the same is true for all kinds of young outcasts. High school is such a small world, and we all have many friends waiting for us that we simply haven’t met.

    • bangin said,

      I didn’t know about the campaign, but that sounds nice. I wish that were in my school…

  3. Arikoto said,

    Isn’t it true that most otaku find it hard to fit in?
    It’s not manga’s faults😀. Just what kind of people who can be obsessed by manga?
    Those people have weak mentality, they get addicted easily, not only manga. They simply find it hard to stop. Nothing can help them, being with them only will bring troubles, stress. They are abnormal after all.
    Don’t take it wrong, I’m that kind of person also, so no INSULT here.

    • bangin said,

      Anyone has a place to go. Anyone can find a place to fit in. Manga otaku has a place to go, so do anime otaku. That’s what I meant here.

  4. angelofdevotion said,

    Hi Bangin-san!

    I found this post of yours very inspiring, especially on how you finally found a place where you can feel comfortable with and be yourself without wearing a mask. I believe that there are loads of people during school feels the same way, about how they try hard to fit in with the group, and sometimes, they lose their own individuality because they want to get along with the collective group.

    I have to say, when I was back in school, I was pretty much the “outcast” too. I dislike to hang around in big groups because I feel that my individuality, my own original ideas and beliefs are being threatened by the so-called friends. But right now, I have a couple or fujoshi friends who actually respect my ideas and with this I don’t have to wear a mask too!

    It’s a great thing, isn’t it? We all will find a place where we can truly belong. It’s never too late. The best is to be ourselves and make our life worth living. ^^

    • bangin said,

      Hi konnichiwa.

      In fact it was so hard for me to catch up with my classmates, but I know I had to do so in the class. Because I could not be alone. Always have to do whatever with everybody else.
      I nearly lost myself, how should I smile? How should I speak? In the irritating space, I was trying to be someone.

      But now I am so happy because I don’t have to wear a mask. Although I don’t officially say I am a cosplayer, I am sure there are people who come to see my cosplays like you. I think I am pretty comfortable. ^^

  5. Daimyo said,

    Meh I don’t really see the point in being social. I don’t even cosplay. I watched quite abit of anime/manga but I never go to conventions. It’s far more manri to be 寂しい and king of your palace. It’s like that post you made on 脱オタク a year telling us to change a bit to make users feel more comfortable. Why change at all?Seeking to join groups you don’t belong in only makes you a poser. Then again maybe I’m just a gaijin weaboo with no sense of meiwaku. Is finding a place to belong so important in Japan? If you don’t find a place is it so displeasing to others that they even have to invent a word for this? Seems like your concept of otaju relies on this acceptance by others.

    • bangin said,

      Well, my point is that you are happy with where you are, or what you are doing, people you associate with. Even if you have no friends, it is fine so long as you are happy with that.

      Collecting figures is a glad thing to you, it’s okay. Cosplaying yourself is a glad thing to you, it’s okay.

      In my case, I enjoy cosplaying with my friends. That is a glad thing to me. That’s it. Depends on a person, happiness can change. That’s my point.

  6. kloadheart said,

    well, I can’t say that I understand what you went through since I was the type of person who was just instantly sociable…. But I used to be a キョロキョロしている as a child because I didn’t understand anything most of the time

    But now that I’m in my high school year and I understand many things, I can actually just… go into other people’s groups that I would call “friends” and no one would mind :] (… I hope…. >>” )

    But you know what? At least you have friends with you now :]
    Its better than not having any at all

    • bangin said,

      I think there is two two types; one is inborn sociable, and the other is not. I was latter. Now I understand why I had to be キョロ充. Because I didn’t even realise I was キョロ充. I didn’t have myself, that is why no one could understand me.

      But now I have my friends because I know who I am.

      • kloadheart said,

        If I was born during your time and I went to the same school as you, I would’ve been your friend :]

      • kloadheart said,

        And not some crummy friend either, a true friend :]

  7. avery said,

    I wish I had seen this one earlier. Maybe years ago! I was キョロ充 for most of my life. Always trying to fit in with some “normal” crowd. It was only junior year of college that I moved up to オタ充. I’ve become much happier this way.

    • bangin said,

      That is the way you should go. Whatever it is, happy life is so important, I think.

  8. sherri said,

    Nice post! I’m quite the opposite – back in high school I had my own group of friend (not all of them are otakus but we have common values) who I hang out and play with everyday, but as we get older, we take different paths (different university, different studies, different work) and we become busy, so we cannot meet as often anymore. During my university YEARS (this makes me feel so old now that I’m doing a second degree!) I always feel like I am a キョロ充. Even now everyday at school I sit by myself all the time because I don’t like putting make-ups on, I don’t watch movies, I don’t care about celebrities, and I don’t care about fashion. I wouldn’t tell people that I am a 腐女子, because in my school program very little people watch anime! If I can’t even talk about anime, how could I talk about BL? It seems that to finish more education, my interest and hobby need to be sacrificed. It feels so sad at times. It is harder to find a group to fit in when you are older.

    It’s those once-in-a-month day when I meet my high school friends again that I feel really happy. I don’t talk much anime with them either, but because we all know each other so well, I can fangirl at random things and they’d laugh with me, because they understand that that’s what I like.

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