ダメな俺を丸ごと受け止めてくれ症候群[dame na ore wo marugoto uketometekure syndrome]

March 8, 2010 at 3:41 pm (general, otaku word, slang)

  Suppose here is a very evil-hearted guy. He uses people, cheats everybody else in order to get promoted. There seems to be no good things inside him, but…one day you happen to know what happend to him before, and why he has changed. Under the mask, he is suffering from the pain everytime he hurts people. And you are the only one who knows about it, so you feel you would like to ease his pain…We call this 母性本能[bosei honnou] or mother instinct that any women have. Like mothers protect kids, women have instinct to protect what they take care of. However, because he is such an evil guy most of the times, you would find your 母性本能 in such a weakness, wouldn’t you? What if he is always so negative? What if he shows his weakness all the time? Would you think you can follow him?

 Now, I shall introduce a bit funny trend which origins from a certain blog. The blogger is a single woman who is over 30 and has almost no experience of men. She is also an otaku who loves anime, manga, or otome games. The entry is about her otaku friend who asked her to go out. He has almost no experience of women even though he is over 30, too. Also, he loves anime, manga, and bishoujo games. It seems like they could get along together. But when she was having dinner with him, he kept talking about his past, and how pathetic he and his whole life was. I am an otaku, not good at making friends, and income is not good, blah blah blah…After he finished his long speech, he asked her to go out. Needless to say, she turned him down. Because he just talked about his pathetic side, and he didn’t say any postive words at all. No wonder she thought she couldn’t have a happy ending with such a wimp. There is a genre of moe called 弱気ヒーロー[yowaki hero], but it is ※ただし2次元(イケメン)に限る[tadashi nijigen(ikemen) ni kagiru].

 The point is, that you wouldn’t love his weakness unless you love him in the first place. In other words, you can accept his weakness because you love him. She was not ready to hear such a pathetic story from him as they weren’t dating. After all, she concludes that I am not his mother.

  This is ダメな俺を丸ごと受け止めてくれ症候群[dame na ore wo marugoto uketometekre syndrome]. It is too long to put it in English. Well, please-accept-the-pathetic-me syndrome…こんなんで正しいんだろうか(苦笑).  At any rate, it is a way for a guy to approach a girl, which means to explain how pathetic you are and ask her to accept you. Or such a thought or behavior. More or less, anyone would feel comfortable when they are speaking honestly rather than lying. Holding your worrys inside you is not so good that you feel like telling somebody. Want someone to listen. Once you start to talk, you can’t stop. And you would see you are speaking too much, but it is too late…

 Meanwhile, there are people who love to talk about who they used to be. This could imply how great they are now although they used to be pathetic. In other words, they might be proud of themselves now and try to tell about it. Young ladies, which guy would you prefer? Anyway, I think it is not bad to be honest, but not always. Sometimes it is better to shut your mouth up. It wouldn’t even count a lie just because you didn’t say. Having said that, to cover everything with good stories is not always good. Sounds complicated? Yes, it is.

 When you have an interview for a job, you would be asked what your good point and bad one are. It is easier to come up your weak points rather than good ones, but just telling your weakness is not good. The important thing is how you overcome the weakness. If you are always late for something, you would have to set up your alarm at the right time. If you are stubborn, you had better try to listen to others. It’s so simple, isn’t it? People would think you are doing your best to surpass your weakness.

 I just said such a wimp can be accepted in 2D above, but I shall take it back. We can see Ikari Shinji getting stronger than the beginning as the story goes on. Because he has someone to protect, it’s Ayanami Rei. Kyon is a laid-back student, but actually he ends up striving to protect the world and Suzumiya Haruhi. Sato-kun in Welcome to NHK! is a good-for-nothing, but decides to get a steady life for the sake of Misaki-chan. Train Man[densha otoko] tries to change his geeky looking and follow current fashion to date the young lady. We are not that strong, but we can try to be. No one is perfect. Before you get in despair, you can do something so that she will accept you.

 I have something I have been aware of; some otaku guys keep talking for their own with no break. In tonari no yaoi-chan, yaoi’s friend says,”They just keep talking about what they love, and never listen to me!(自分の萌え話ばっかりでこっちの話全然聞かないんだもん).” She could be right. そういう人、何人か知ってるから。Even if she is an otaku, don’t forget she is a lady. Most ladies want guys to listen, so just because she is an otaku, it doesn’t mean it is okay to talk about your moe stuff all the time.  

 Open your eyes, and broaden your world. Stay humble, but don’t be shy, that’s my motto.


  1. Heinsia said,

    I think being honest is both about good points and bad points. Some people like to act humble,keep talking about their weak points and think/want other people to praise them but if they cant defend/ proud of themselves then they dont deserve that. Guess that lady must think something like “Who would want to be with you if you have no good points ?! You must have something that I like in order to accept your weak points !”
    I like your example of Densha Otoko xD He really tried his best ^_^ v

    • bangin said,

      We are not perfect. No matter how good he is, he has some weakness. In other words, no matter how pathetic he is, he has some good points. The important thing is to find your good as well as weakness.
      Haha, but after all densha otoko becomes an ikemen.^^

    • Fritzs said,

      Who would want to be with some crazy otaku lady in the first place? 99% of all recent anime is crap, same with manga and dating sims were never good.

      • bangin said,

        Please understand what is spoken in this entry before you comment.

      • Fritzs said,

        Single woman in her 30ties with almost no experience with men who also happens to be rabid fan of anime, manga and dating sims… I think her perspective of what men really are like is going to be quite warped. And, apparently, that guy’s perspecive of women was equally f*cked up.

        Hell, they would make perfect couple! Both whiners with bad taste in entertaiment!

  2. ponytale said,

    Personally, I can’t stand yowaki hero, not my genre ^^;;; Well, unless he takes active steps to snap out of it within a reasonable timeframe. Patience is limited. lol~

    I can understand the bosei honnou part tho’ like you feel that maybe you can help the person overcome his weakness by being there for him or even changing him for the better. Unfortunately, this is only an illusion which will only lead to despair. Nobody can change so easily in real life and there is only that much others can help. I used to know someone who was very negative about things… no matter how sunshine and positive I was, I would always feel quite tired after spending time with him x_x;;

    Quite impossible to imagine having a happy life with someone like that in the future, so I agree with the blogger too. Aren’t we all looking for happiness? I don’t think anyone would be attracted to a self-confessed “pathetic” person right from the start. Unless maybe you’re a do-M lol~

    • bangin said,

      Yes, unless you are a do-M, no one wants to date someone like that. Even in otome games, there should be a negative boy like Eisen in Harutoki. As far as I am aware, such a character is not that popular because he irritates players. Meanwhile, those fangirls who like him are a bit rare. Umm, because he is a bishounen? lol

      BTW, I heard girls could change when they fall in love. We say 恋をすると女は輝く. I think this is true.

      • ponytale said,

        I didn’t finish watching Harutoki anime… (The heroine irriated me ^^;;; ) Maybe the bishonen bit helped the weak character but looks can only help you get that far. I believe most normal women wouldn’t go for weak men in real life.

        Hehe yeah girls change (usually for the better?) when they fall in love. But often the ironic thing is, the guy would say that “I like you as you are, why do you need to change?” And the girl would say, “but I want to be an even better person for you!” And then she expects the same from him. Lol~ Feels like a scene from drama 😛

  3. DarcyAglow said,

    I’m kinda moody today so I’m sorry if I gonna say anything not related to your topic. =.=
    Actually I do not really mind people who complain because I used to be like that. If a person is saying how pathetic he/she is and you show some negative reaction, that person will think that you hate them and many persimistic thoughts will come to his/her mind after that. With that type, it takes sometimes for them to accept the truth so it will be wise if u talk to them later. But that is if u wanna be friend with them, in the case Bangin wrote, I agree with the way the lady behaves.
    “Anyway, I think it is not bad to be honest, but not always. Sometimes it is better to shut your mouth up. It wouldn’t even count a lie just because you didn’t say. ”
    I totally agree with you. If u don’t want to let others know st about u and don’t want to be judged as being dishonest, just don’t say anything and be nice to people. As long as you do not ask people anything about their personal lives and treat the nicely, they will have to think twice before spying on you.

    • bangin said,

      I think timing is also important. When is the right time to talk about yourself. Anyone has something pathetic in the past, but it is not nice to talk about that kind of thing before getting to know each other.

      Even in love romance games, timing is everything. Otherwise you can’t step into the next stage.

      • DarcyAglow said,

        u r right Bangin, timing is really important. Some small and light talk would be nice if u just meet a person. Serious and heavy talks right in the first few dates will scare them away. Everyone hav their own problems, noone wants to handle other’s troubles unless that’s sb very important to them. If u want sb to listen and help u with the problem, u should make sure that they think that’s their problem as well. If not, don’t say anything.

  4. bangin said,

    ponytale: Oh yes, most guys say like that when she changes. I guess that is because they think other guys come to her if she becomes so beautiful!

    I have seen such a drama like you said. He becomes very cold after she had a surgeon, and she doesn’t see why he has changed…

  5. mikiyj said,

    For me, If they are my friends or boyfriend, I always want to know more about them, being their past, present or future. I do get quite annoyed sometimes at my boyfriend when he won’t tell me about his past. Hmm, how to say, I guess I like to know everything about everyone, in my opinion that’s how all my best friends come from because we don’t have secrets between each other so we are always comfortable with whatever each other says.

    That is different though if a guy keeps talking about his ex girlfriend. 😛

    Haha well, I guess I am the bosei honnou type. A good skill I learnt at work is that when you meet someone, don’t talk to them, just ask questions. Because people like to have other people listen to them talk about themselves.

    • bangin said,

      That is a good skill. Do you speak to customers or clients at work? I feel annoyed when a person doesn’t listen to me even though I listen to. He said like blah blah blah, I say, you know what…and he says oh I don’t know, ends the conversation. I think this is a communication skill.

      Haha, no one wants to hear about exes. Sometimes could be fine, but not always. Some of my friends broke up with their girlfriends because they talked about their exes too much.

      • mikiyj said,

        Yes. I do quite a lot of customer based work and all my customers are really nice people so they are fun to hang out with.

        I do get annoyed if people don’t listen to me either. Like, I don’t like it when I am talking to someone and they are sending an SMS. I mean, that’s also something I have to work on not doing too but it’s very rude for people to do that.

  6. Zak said,

    “Be Happy and be Honest” that’s my motto:D I find it annoying when people always talk about their negative side as if though they’ve no interest in their own lives, but i know that not all anime-lovers are like that lol

  7. Zak said,

    I doubt people are comfortable talking about their past to people they’ve just met!
    but when a relationship does form people automatically lose all instinct to keep their past secrets from their other half, but this is not the case for some.

    • bangin said,

      No one shows weakness as soon as they meet each other. First, it’s a light talk, and next a bit more topics to get know each other. After you got a closer intimacy, you can talk something you haven’t spoken, that is something you don’t tell anybody so easily.

      • Zak said,

        I like your motto it really sums up how we should live our lives.

  8. rzncu said,

    tadashi nijigen <— i agree with this, yowaki hero would only exist in nijigen if they want to be liked, someone like this in reality… would be much harder to be accepted. (unless they change)

    To love someone's weakness, sometimes it could be because they seem perfect, and the one time they display weakness, others realize that they're more "human" (in nijigen or real life), sometimes it makes people more likable to show weakness because people compare themselves with others. Seeing someone who's never weak but weak in front of just one person, girls would consider that to be special if they really like that person to begin with, because it makes them feel like that person is relying on them. I think for most people, they don't want to show weakness in front people who are not close enough to them.

    • bangin said,

      It is easier to show your weakness than pretending to be strong. But meanwhile, people want to surpass anybody else. I think anyone has something better than anyone else. When it comes to that, you feel you are better than anyone else. If you happen to be good at a computer, it is your skill so you are not a loser anymore. Anyone has for sure. When we find it, we can be stronger.

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