July 22, 2009 at 5:04 pm (BL, general, otaku word)

 Love has no shape. Whatever it is, it is up to the person so we can’t define what love is. If you can share love with your partner, it is a good thing no matter how odd it looks. It is like a cliche; love makes you happy, and drives you crazy. Nah, I am not talking about yandere here, but a unique type of love. Actually…it is an extraordinary fetishism.


 In the BL anime, 僕のセクシャルハラスメント[My Sexual Harassment], there is a scene in which Mr. Honma asks Mochizuki to sleep with the president whom they have a deal since the dealer wants to do so (yes, no men in this anime are straight). Poor Mochizuki, he ends up sacrifising his body whoever he meets for the sake of Mr. Honma. Anyway, here is something we should discuss. Why does Mr. Honma get Mochizuki to have a sex with someone else? Doesn’t he love Mochizuki? If he really loves Mochizuki, he wouldn’t be able to do something like this. But Mr. Honma never forces him to do such a thing, but strictly let Mochizuki decide. He is pretty sure Mochizuki is on because he knows Mochizuki loves him. Having said that, it doesn’t seem that Mr. Honma doesn’t love him because he really looks nice to him in the bed. However, he looks fine even though Mochizuki has a sex with someone else. Why?

 To my surprise, there is a scene in which Mr. Honma has a sex with Mochizuki in front of someone else, or even observes him being almost raped by someone else. As for the former scene, it is as though he shows off his sex doll. I didn’t think I could find a term to introduce in an old anime like this, that is カンダウリズム[Candaulism].

We never knows what he truly thinks...

We never knows what he truly thinks...

 Candaulism is kind of fetishism you feel when you show off your girlfriend while she is naked or even have a sex in front of someone else. It sounds very sadistic, but at the same time it is a really masochistic behavior. Mr. Honma never looks like a masochist, but suppose he feels something by letting Mochizuki have a sex with someone else, I must say he is a Candaulist.

 Why Candaulism? This stems from Kandaules[the king in the Lydia Kingdom of the olden Turkish] in the play, Le Roi Candaules(1901) by French artist, André Paul Guillaume Gide and the opera, Der König Kandaules by Austrian musician, Alexander (von) Zemlinsky(1871-1942). In this play, the king calls his servant Gyges to his room to show off his wife Nyssia when she’s naked. Because of this, Gyges and Nyssia who gets furious decide to kill the king to take over the kingdom.

 Anyway, I sometimes come across such a porn video that amatuer couples secretly make love at a park, in the forest, or inside a washroom. Why do they make love in such a public place? They could be enjoying “being seen.” More or less, they have such a fetishism, I suppose so. Come to think of it, there are loads of men who enjoy taping when they do it, and even upload! 

 Here is one more term to explain, 寝取られ[netorare]. You can even abbreviate it as NTR. 寝取る[netoru] means to sexually snatch someone’s lover, and 寝取られ is a passive form of it. It could be both; a sadistic way that you get your lover to be raped on purpose, or a masochistic way that you feel fetishism to observe your lover to be tainted. It’s too complicated.

 OMG, I have cosplayed a naked Nagisa Kaworu before. And I uploaded it on my blog to show…GYAAAAA! Am I Candaulist?




  1. Taiyaki said,

    Hi, I’ve been following your blog for quite some time but I believe this is the first time I’ve posted a comment on this site. I’d like to say that I really like your blog and that I’ve learned a lot of interesting stuff in this place. So, keep up the good work!

    Anyway, about this candaulism thing… I think I’ve seen it before in some 18+ game but I personally thought it was kind of creepy. H-scenes should stay private IMO. ^^;

    • bangin said,

      Hi thank you for coming. And I visited your blog, and I was very surprised because you are an otomen, too. I have been longing to see someone like you, but most of them are in the closet! So I am really happy now!

      To be honest, I think this is kind of creepy, too. 18+ game sure show something like this.

  2. madoka said,

    hey Bangin!~ I’m the girl who came from Canada…nice seeing you at the store again today ahhah :p

    well, my email is on the comment so you can email me anytime!~

    You’ll probably see me around some other time again since i gotta stock up on manga to bring home haha 😛

  3. bangin said,

    OMG, thank you for contacting me here! I wanted to give my e-mail address to you guys. I will e-mail you soon before you go back, let’s talk more. XD Enjoy one Fes!

  4. goodyfun said,

    “…To anyone else or even a sex in front of someone else.”

    It’s grammatically correct to say, “have sex/had sex” as in “they had sex”, or “they are having sex”. It would also be correct to say, “I have cosplayed as a naked Nagisa Kaworu”/”I have cosplayed as Nagisa Kaworu (while) naked”, and, “…to show off his wife Nyssia while she was naked”. Isn’t that interesting?

    I’m afraid any other comment I could make would reveal my secret of being a huge sadist… >< You're bating all us sadists to come out of hiding, aren’t you?

    • bangin said,

      I get irritated by wordpress because it filters out a good comment like this, and approves spams. I seriously want them to do something about this. Your comment had been captured until I noticed, I am sorry.

      Don’t worry, I know some more sadists!

  5. 子犬 said,

    In real life, this is only okay if the partner agrees. They say that is nessecary for BDSM stuff, so all is safe. In fiction, they can do everything! >:]

    goodyfun: There is nothing wrong with letting other people know. ^^b

    • bangin said,

      In above anime, Mochizuki ends up sleeping with anybody because he can’t resist Mr. Honma. After all, they agree with each other!

  6. mochie said,

    Haha it’s sad that I actually know of cases as such, like people having sex in public, or getting frisky. Sometimes they cannot control it apparently or it’s also because of the idea that doing it in a risky environment where you are very likely to get caught turns them on.

    Speaking of which, my friend was telling me in class today she saw a girl stick her hand down her boyfriends pants at a bus stop. Rather disgusting.

    This term kind of reminds me, but I am not sure if it’s related, of this old movie called 9 1/2 weeks. In that movie this guy and this girl were together for quite some time and then he calls her into the room to tell her to watch him have sex with a prostitute. In the end of the movie when she decides to leave him, he tells her that he loves her. Kind of weird I guess.

  7. bangin said,

    In an internet cafe, that kind of thing often happens so that you can see a note saying No sex inside the room. Internet cafes are really convinient so you can stay a night if you miss a final train, and far cheaper than a hotel. That’s why people use it instead of…

    Candaulism can be seen when a husband never erects…since he can’t work with her, he ends up watching her have a sex with someone else, and imagines he is doing so.

    Super-weird, I guess!

    • mochie said,

      Wow.. I don’t think such a thing has ever happened at net cafes here. Cinemas are more common as it is dark and no one is looking at you. I have once witnessed a couple having sex in the cinema. Not a good memory.

      • bangin said,

        Oh yak, it spoiled your movie, you should have complained to the staff.

        Come to think of it, I heard same happened when Brokeback Mountain was roadshowed, but those couples are actually…

  8. ChapterZero said,

    これはこれは!まだブログが続いているとは… バンギンさんは真剣な人ですね。自分のは何数月もやっていないのは恥じるべきです。


    • bangin said,




  9. w said,

    Huh, I guess this is what they call exhibitionism. Some people like that feeling of openness and so-called depravity, I suppose? It’s that feeling of being liberated from social programming, perhaps.

    • bangin said,

      I think I have it inside me. Because I want to be liberated from the society sometimes. That is why I like to cosplay, maybe?

  10. James said,

    ooH cool

  11. rzncu said,

    僕のセクシャルハラスメント is a series I never understood even in the end… for such an old work, it was surprising how far things went o_o;;; I remember, the ending song for the ova of this series was really nice, sadly I couldn’t find much information about the singer at all XD

    NTR <— this phrase is quite common tho, netorare reminds me of netabare

    • bangin said,

      The ED is Garasu no Toshi by Sammy.

  12. Zero said,

    Ah, and how come Mochizuki was seen kssing Fujita in the end? Did he leave Honma.. or.. Im sorry. I just really didnt understand the OVA. State the fact that it was Spanish-sub, I had no choice. Y__Y

    • bangin said,

      I think Mochizuki didn’t choose Fujita although he loves Mochizuki. Poor Fujita.

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